2005

There were 110 posts published in 2005 (this is page 6 of 11).

Memories Are Like This

Sometimes my childhood memories aren’t really memories at all — they’re moods, or impressions. I don’t remember a specific time or place or event, but remember a feeling. I remember how it felt to go to Grandma’s house. I remember how it felt to visit the train station. I remember the glow from endless days of summer.

Mostly I do remember details, though these often form a confusing jumble of time, place, event, and emotion. I can’t be sure that the individual memories I have are correct: maybe I’ve recombined several memories, drawing on the location of one memory, combining it with the events of a second, adding the emotions of a third.

Memories are like this.

For example, when I was a boy, my family lived in a trailer house in the Oregon coutnryside. We were poor. We did not have a television (though I believe this was more of a philosophical choice than a financial one on the part of my parents). In the evening, my family read and listened to music.

My father was a big Neil Diamond fan. He loved ABBA. He often listened to Simon and Garfunkel’s Greatest Hits. (Thus it is no surprise that these are all favorites of mine now.) Mostly, he listened to classical music.

Though we didn’t have much, we did have a nice component stereo, including a silver receiver with big knobs, and a top-of-the-line turntable. I can remember the night Dad bought the stereo equipment from a small store in Beaverton. I can remember the record shop’s dimly lit rooms were filled with record bins. I can remember the Bee Gees strutting over the store’s speakers. I can remember heading home with the Star Wars soundtrack, a couple of Mannheim Steamroller albums, and a small collection of classical music.

I had no formal musical education (aside from two years of violin in fifth and sixth grade), but I learned a lot from listening to Dad’s classical records. He was passionate about them. I learned to love Beethoven’s sixth symphony (the Pastorale). I learned to love Bizet’s Carmen Suite and Grieg’s Peer Gynt. I learned to love Also Sprach Zarathustra. I learned to love Mozart and Liszt and Rimsky-Korsakov.

When I think of my childhood, my first thought is not of a particular time or place or event; it is a feeling, an emotion, a sense of peace. A vague, non-specific scene. I remember a cool autumn night — the early darkness — sitting in the trailer’s living room on a baroque floral couch (a couch that went with me to college). The wall-mounted kerosene sconces are lit. The dishwasher is humming. There is a fire in the wood stove. The birds are squawking in their cages, or perhaps sitting on the curtain rods. A small and stinky dog is curled next to Jeff on one end of the couch. I am on the other end, reading a book. We are listening to the Cosmos soundtrack: soaring strings, pulsing electronic beats, the haunting Bulgarian Shepherdess Song.

A vasty darkness surrounds the trailer, yet inside is a womb of warmth and light and music.

This is what I remember.

A previous entry, Twenty-Two Year Reflection, is related to this entry.

Rosemary Verde

The gin fizz may have been my drink for the summer, but my drink for the autumn is rosemary verde, a delicious martini-like cocktail. Kris ordered this drink on our last trip to Ciao Vito. It is unusual in that it’s savory rather than sweet. We both thought the drink was a wonderful change of pace; we’d love to be able to serve it to guests at dinner parties.

Using some of my newfound confidence, I just phoned Ciao Vito and spoke with the bartender, who gave me the recipe.

Rosemary Verde (from Ciao Vito)

Combine one shot (1-1/2 to 2 ounces) rosemary-infused vodka, one-half ounce triple sec (or other orange liqueur), a splash of fresh-squeezed lime juice, and a dash of simple syrup (aka sugar water) in a cocktail shaker with two cubes of ice. Shake and strain. Pour into a martini glass, then finish with a splash of soda water.

To make the rosemary-infused vodka: place two sprigs of fresh rosemary into a bottle of vodka. Allow the vodka to sit for two or three days. Strain the vodka through a cheesecloth.

Simple, yet delicious. Give it a shot. Or, the next time you’re at Rosings Park, ask me to make one for you.

My path to overcoming depression is giving me all sorts of heretofore untapped confidence. My innate curiosity is boiling at record levels. I’m happy. I find it easier to deal with people than it has been in years. I’m not afraid to assert my need for personal space.

Two small but significant examples of the change in me:

  1. Remember my new old office? Remember it was a hellhole, a pit? A couple weeks ago, I spruced up the place a bit by cleaning it and by rearranging the furniture. This week, I spent $250 to add some finishing touches: four potted plants, a bunch of candles, a floor rug, and a new portable stereo. Now I don’t resent having to work in an oppressive environment; it’s no longer oppressive. Now I don’t mind sitting in my office for eight hours a day.
  2. At one of our larger customers, I deal with many different reps. One of these reps is a brusque man who never knows what he wants and always makes me wait. A few weeks ago, he made me wait in the lobby for half an hour. This man is a little like Jeremy but without Jeremy’s vast charisma. Even his co-workers don’t like him. Recently, it dawned on me that perhaps I resented this guy simply because I let him walk all over me. In fact, he had told me many times, “Don’t let me do this to you. Call me on it.” You know what? I’ve started to call him on it, and suddenly our relationship isn’t adversarial, it’s kind of fun. While his co-workers are rolling their eyes, I joke around him. When he pushes, I push back. Suddenly it’s a relationship of equals, and it makes all the difference.

There are still aspects of my life that are not in control (my weight, my cleanliness), but for once I’m happy with who I am. I refuse to think bad thoughts about myself. So what if I’m fat? So what if I have a score of e-mails to answer? So what if my desk is a mess? I’ll fix these things soon, and I’ll do so by approaching these issues in a positive way rather than a negative one.

Anger Management

Based on Courtney‘s recommendation (and the recommendations of a bunch of AskMetafilter folks), I’ve begun to read Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David. M. Burns. The book attempts to empower a person to defeat depression without drugs, and is reportedly very effective for those, like me, with mild depression.

I’ve only read bits and pieces so far, but what I’ve read has been eye-opening. Yesterday, I browsed the chapter about anger. I suspect my co-workers (and perhaps my friends) think I’m a little irritable. I often think of myself as easily upset.

Feeling Good features the following survey, which is based on the Novaco Anger Scale. I’ve reproduced it here without permission. For each situation below, estimate the degree of anger it would provoke in you using this simple scale:

0 – You would feel little or no annoyance.
1 – You would feel a little irritated.
2 – You would feel moderately upset.
3 – You would feel quite angry.
4 – You would feel very irate.

As you describe how you would ordinarily react to each situation, make your best general estimate even though important details may be missing.

  1. You unpack an appliance you have just purchased, plug it in, and discover that it doesn’t work. 3 – I would be quite angry. If it were a computer-related product, I would be irate.
  2. You are overcharged by a repairman who has you over a barrel. 2 – I would be upset.
  3. You are singled out for correction when the actions of others go unnoticed. 4 – I would be irate. I hate this.
  4. You get your car stuck in mud or snow. 0 – This would not bother me. It’s an act of nature. What can you do?
  5. You are talking to someone and they don’t answer you. 1 – This would annoy me.
  6. Someone pretends to be something they are not. 2 – I would be angry. I don’t like this.
  7. While you are struggling to carry four cups of coffee to your table at a cafeteria, someone bumps into you, spilling the coffee. 1 – I would be irritated, but not much.
  8. You have hung up your clothes, but someone knocks them to the floor and fails to pick them up. 1 – I would be irritated, though this is unlikely to happen in real life. I don’t hang up my clothes!
  9. You are hounded by a salesperson from the moment you walk into a store. 2 – I would be upset.
  10. You have made arrangements to go somewhere with a person who backs out at the last minute and leaves you hanging. 1 – This is irritating, but there are worse things that can happen.
  11. Being joked about or teased. 1 – This goes more to self-image than to anger. I’d feel all sorts of self-doubt.
  12. Your car is stalled at a traffic light and the guy behind you keeps blowing his horn. 2 – I would be upset.
  13. You accidentally make the wrong kind of turn in a parking lot. As you get out of your car someone yells at you, “Where did you learn to drive?” 0 – As Kris can attest, when I make a driving error and am honked at or yelled at, I get sheepish and apologetic, not angry.
  14. Someone makes a mistake and blames it on you. 2 – I would be upset.
  15. You are trying to concentrate, but a person near you is tapping their foot. 4 – This pisses me off.
  16. You lend someone an important book or tool, and they fail to return it. 1 – I loan out a lot of stuff. I wouldn’t loan it if I didn’t think it might not come back.
  17. You have had a busy day, and the person you live with starts to complain that you forgot to do something that you agreed to do. 3 – This makes me very cranky.
  18. You are trying to discuss something important with your mate or partner who isn’t giving you a chance to express your feelings. 2 – I would be upset.
  19. You are in a discussion with someone who persists in arguing about a topic they know very little about. 3 – This makes me cranky.
  20. Someone sticks his or her nose into an argument between you and somebody else. 1 – Not a big deal.
  21. You need to get somewhere quickly, but the car in front of you is going 25mph in a 40mph zone, and you cannot pass. 2 – I would be upset, especially if the driver would not pull over.
  22. Stepping on a glob of chewing gum. 0 – Again, this is environmental. What can you do?
  23. Being mocked by a small group of people as you pass them. 1 – As above, this would turn more into self-loathing than into anger.
  24. In a hurry to get somewhere, you tear a good pair of slacks on a sharp object. 1 – I’m clumsy, so I’ve become used to this.
  25. You use your last quarter to make a phone call, but you are disconnected and the quarter is lost. (Or, in modern terms: you are stranded, so you use your cell phone to call for help. The battery dies.) 1 – Another case in which there’s nothing to be angry at.

Here is how Burns interprets the results of the anger survey.

0 – 45: The amount of anger and annoyance you generally experience is remarkably low.
46 – 55: You are substantially more peaceful than the average person.
56 – 75: You respond to life’s annoyances with an average amount of anger.
76 – 85: You frequently react in an angry way.
86 – 100: You are plagued by intense fury. You probably harbor negative feelings and grudges.

My total score is 41. I am not very irritable. This is surprising in some ways, but makes sense when I think about it. I may bitch and moan often, but I’m rarely truly upset. I say what I think and move on. I do not dwell on anger.

Kris and I talked about this survey after I took it. We decided that we both have similar approaches to anger. Neither of us gets angry very often, but what we do that may be unusual is that we openly express how we feel. If something irritates us, we express our displeasure instead of holding it in. We suspect that most other people hold it in. (Note that we do, of course, hold in our frustrations in certain circumstances.)

I believe that most people are taught to keep their feelings — good and bad — under wraps. If they’re excited about something, they remain restrained. If something makes them angry, they do not let it show. Many people dislike confrontation, especially if the confrontation is somehow negative. I’m not like that. I usually wear my heart on my sleeve. I don’t know what good it does to keep irritation inside.

How did you score on the anger assessment survey?

Forty-Four Ounces

“[I doubt my senses] because,” said Scrooge, “a little thing affects them. A slight disorder of the stomach makes them cheats. You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato. There’s more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!”

After a wonderful meal at Paul and Amy Jo’s last night — beer-cheese soup, salmon cakes, garlic aoli, mashed potatoes, a corn dish that wasn’t grits — Kris and I slept in this morning. When at last we rose, I made hot cocoa for breakfast. I started to prepare a single cup, but that left only enough cocoa powder for one more serving. “Why not just have it all now?” I thought, and so I did. I sat at the table, reading the paper, dunking honey toast into my cocoa. Delicious.

In the afternoon, we saw The 40-Year-Old Virgin. “My gut hurts,” I told Kris as we drove to the theater. “My gut always hurts after I drink cocoa, especially if I drink too much.”

Kris shook her head. “Maybe you should stop buying chantico,” she said.

“I’ll just get some pop at the movie to help soothe my gut,” I said. I’m not sure why I thought this would work.

Kris paid $12 to get us into the matinee. ($12!!!) I bought refreshments. “What can I get you today?” asked the bright young Regal employee.

“Uh, well. I see you have combos available,” I said, pointing at a sign, “but you don’t list the prices for them.”

“I can tell you the prices. Which one would you like?”

“Well, what’s the difference between the nachos and the super nachos?”

“The super nachos come with more chips and two dipping sauces,” she explained, as if the super nachos were the best movie concession in all the world. “Would you like the super nachos?”

How could I refuse? “Uh, sure. How much does that cost?” I asked.

“Ten dollars,” she said, “and it comes with a medium drink. Also, if you buy a combo you can have any candy for two-fifty.”

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll have a diet. And some M&Ms.”

“Is Diet Coke okay?” she said, and I sighed inwardly. Of course Diet Coke is okay — that’s why I say ‘diet’ instead of ‘Diet Pepsi’, yet whenever I ask for a diet soda, the server always asks “Is Diet Coke okay?” or “Is Diet Pepsi okay?” Maybe I should ask for ‘diet cola’ instead.

The girl scooped up our chips and M&Ms and then handed over a tub of diet cola. “That’s a medium?” I asked, awed. She smiled and nodded. The forty-four ounce “medium” drink contained the equivalent of four cans of soda. Thank god I ordered diet.

“I can’t believe we’re paying $24.50 to see a movie,” Kris said as we waited through the barrage of music videos and advertisements that Regal Cinemas inflicts on its customers. I hate Regal.

“At least I got a forty-four ounce diet,” I said.

“The thing of it is,” said my wife, the trained observer, “we didn’t save any money by getting all this food. They didn’t list the prices of the combos because there’s no discount for buying them. They cost the same as if you’d purchased the items seperately. I added it up while you were ordering.”

“At least I got a forty-four ounce diet,” I said.

As the movie began, I realized I was in trouble. I’d been sipping on the soda for only fifteen minutes, and already I needed to urinate. I held out a while longer, but was soon forced to make a dash for the restroom. I hate to miss any part of a film for a bathroom break, but ultimately I had to miss three chunks of The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Forty-four ounces of diet cola are too much for my bladder to handle.

Perhaps those three missed chunks were crucial to one’s enjoyment of the film. Despite my appreciation of Judd Apatow‘s televison work (Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared), I found The 40-Year-Old Virgin mediocre. Parts were funny, but invariably the audience laughed where I didn’t, and I laughed where they didn’t. (The biggest laugh for me came from a music cue, for goodness sake.) This isn’t a movie one needs to see in a theater, if ever.

We did chores in the late afternoon. I tried not to get distracted by side projects. (I have a bad habit that goes something like this: Perhaps I am sweeping the library floor. As I sweep, perhaps I gaze absently at a bookshelf filled with Latin books, and perhaps it occurs to me that I ought to put the Latin books into alphabetical order. Rather than finish sweeping, I pause — because it will only take a minute — and sort the books. Then I pull one of them down to thumb through it. Pehaps I think to myself, “I should begin studying Latin again.” Perhaps I then decide to go upstairs to google a Latin word. Or two. Or three. Perhaps I then decide to check the football scores. And then I might as well try to catch up on my e-mail. Before I know it, Kris is scolding me because once again I’ve forgotten what it is I’m supposed to be doing, which is sweeping the library. Without Kris to guide me, my rooms would be perpetually half-swept, though at least all of my books would be in alphabetical order.)

After chores, I was hungry. The super nacho and the forty-four ounce diet soda hadn’t been filling. “Can I have your leftover Chinese food?” I asked Kris, because I knew she’d say yes. I piled her Mandarin Chicken into a bowl with my General Tso Chicken and stuck it in the microwave. The resulting mass was terrible (deep-fried Chinese food just does not reheat well.) “This sucks,” I said.

“Then don’t eat it,” Kris said, but I did anyhow. I didn’t enjoy it.

Later in the evening, my gut began to hurt again. I ignored it and climbed into bed, but I could not fall asleep. I took a sleep quiz in a magazine: “Are you an owl or a lark?” I was a lark: best in the morning, not performing well late at night. I turned out the light and lay there in my C-PAP mask, breathing deep Darth Vader breaths (breaths that scare the cats), unable to sleep for the gross Chinese food causing a pain in my gut and for the fourty-four ounces of diet cola I’d consumed earlier in the day.

Soccer for Six-Year-Olds

We were up late last night, watching the second season of Arrested Development with Tiffany, Marla, Celeste, and Nicki. I was beat when we crawled into bed after midnight. I’m too old for such wild and crazy nights.

My hopes for a late morning were dashed when Kris woke me before dawn. “Let’s go see Harrison’s soccer game,” she said.

I wanted to sleep. “I want to sleep,” I said, gasping through my C-PAP mask.

She resorted to bribery. “I’ll buy you a chantico,” she said. I went downstairs to take a bath.

As Jenn explained in a recent entry, soccer for first-graders is somewhat chaotic. The rules are essentially what you’d expect except:

  • there are only five players per team;
  • there are no goalkeepers;
  • there are essentially no fouls;
  • halves are only twenty minutes long;
  • no official score is kept;
  • any out-of-bounds yields a throw-in;
  • and, most radically, there is no off-sides.

Without this last concession, the game would be unplayable. Kids this young have no concept of position. The dominating factor regarding soccer for first-graders is that the kids cluster around the ball, all trying to kick it at once.

Sometimes a kid will come up with the ball and break from the crowd, sprinting for the goal. They rarely make it.

The coaches try to instill some sense of order:

And sometimes the kids can be convinced to stay on the defensive half of the field:

And sometimes something resembling normal soccer takes place, as here when Tyler crosses the ball to Harrison (who would be off-sides in a real game):

It’s great fun to watch the kids play, though, and they all seem to love it.

  

  

When it was all said and done, kids from opposing teams joined together for crackers and juice.

I was happy to have spent the morning among old friends: Rich, Karen, Kim, Sabino, and Katrina; John, Louise, and Jenn; Ken, Roger, and Kristin; and all of their children and grandchildren.

“That’s what I miss about living in Canby,” I told Kris on the drive home. “Those are my people. Whiskey Hill — Nintey-One — is my homeland.”

“You don’t have to miss it,” she said. “Didn’t we just visit?”

Burger Therapy

It has been a strange week.

We’ve been unusually busy here at work, which is good. As you might expect, the incredible self-destructing weblog has sucked up all my spare time. Between the two, I feel drained. Meanwhile, there’s a mountain of e-mail accumulating on my computer, e-mail that needs replies. Jason wants to go for a walk? Too bad I didn’t even read the e-mail until after the suggested walking time. Somebody wants to host a wine-tasting event? I know there’s a message somewhere about it somewhere, but I can’t find it.

At night, I’m exhausted. Kris, too, has been coming home tired. Last night — our third night of this — we knew we had to take drastic action. We drove to Mike’s for burgers.

Mike’s Drive In is a sort of local Dairy Queen-type semi-fast food joint. They have good burgers and great shakes at reasonable prices. There’s no mistaking it for gourmet faire, but there are times when all you want is a good burger. (Lew’s Dairy Freeze is actually much closer to us, but we ate there the first day we were in the new house and have never gone back. We weren’t impressed.)

You know what? After a chili burger, an oreo shake, and a basket of onion rings, I felt refreshed. And fat. Very fat. (I’ve gained back all the weight I had lost this summer. Can you believe it? Of course you can.)

Back home we watched the third of four DVDs that make up Undeclared: The Complete Series. Undeclared was a short-lived sitcom from the same minds that created the brilliant Freaks and Geeks. (And, more recently, filmed The 40-Year Old Virgin, which I’ve yet to see.) Whereas Freaks and Geeks, a one-hour drama, followed the travails of a group of high school kids during the early eighties, Undeclared follows a similar group of kids as they enter college in the early aughts. (By “similar” kids, I mean that some of the same actors have prominent roles in both series, and that certain characters seem to have been deliberately plucked from Freaks and Geeks and transplanted into Undeclared.)

Undeclared struggled to find its footing during the first few episodes, so much so that we almost removed the series from our Netflix queue. I’m glad we hung in; our perseverance has been rewarded. By the end of the series, the actors and writers had become more confident, endowing each character and each story with a sort of enthusiasm that is contagious. The show busted me up several times last night: I was in stitches. My favorite character is Lizzy’s stalker ex-boyfriend, Eric. He runs a copy shop, and with his posse of co-workers, he bumbles through his possessive, obsessive life — shouting, stomping, storming, swallowing tongue studs.

Under Construction

Just to be clear: the layout and design you see here is temporary. In fact, it’s likely to change several times over the next couple of weeks.

Ultimately, based on your input, I’ll be returning to a layout similar to that which I had previously. (Sorry, dowingba — the calendar will likely re-appear.)

The real trouble is that my previous template is inaccessible, lost in the database corruption that caused all this woe in the first place. I still have the stylesheet, but that doesn’t help much. What’s worse, in a moment of foolishness, I ignored the Movable Type standard tags and template names when I created my previous site, so nothing meshes up right, anyhow.

To get to the point: things are going to change wildly around here over the next week or two as I attempt to return the design to something similar to that I had before.

Also, I’ve spoken with some of my resident bloggers, and they’re willing to wait until I’ve figured out the new version of Movable Type before making a return themselves. Be patient. Joel and Aimee will be back soon, as will Jeff and Noah.

Starting Over

Here we are, together again.

Please note that after yesterday’s catastrophe, this weblog has a new URL: http://www.foldedspace.org/weblog/.

It’s been a rough 24 hours behind the scenes here at foldedspace as I’ve struggled to determine what went wrong with my previous installation, and then grappled with what to do next.

I’ve installed the latest version of Movable Type. I have a rudimentary weblog in place. Until I can afford to fork over $100 for the appropriate license, I cannot host any other webloggers. (I’m guessing I can come up with this cash within a month.)

All of the old web sites are currently accessible, however, although it’s not possible to leave comments. You can still read:

There will be many changes around here in the coming weeks. Chief among these is that — for now, anyhow — in order to comment, you must log in using a (free) TypeKey account.

TypeKey is a system devised by the makers of Movable Type in an effort to reduce comment spam. Essentially, it’s a centralized repository of trusted weblog commenters. If you sign up for TypeKey in order to comment on this weblog (and I hope you will), then you’ll be signed up to comment on any other weblogs which require TypeKey (such as Jeremy and Jennifer’s site or Rich’s site or Scott’s site).

Also, I suspect that the front page will take a more traditional weblog format, displaying several recent entries instead of just a single long blob of text. (Don’t worry: I’ll be as verbose as always. I’ll simply bury the rest of the entry in an “extended entry” fashion.)

What other changes will occur? I don’t really know. If you have any suggestions or requests, I’d be happy to hear them. Should I incorporate the flotch into the main weblog, or should I keep it separate? Should I retain the calendar thingy I’ve had for the past few years? What sort of color scheme ought I to use? What about fonts: do you like a sans serif font like this one, or do you prefer the Times-based font I used to have?

Please, give me your input.

New Orleans Update

My friend Scott and his family lost their home to Hurricane Katrina. Just after the storm, he sent the following:

Just wanted y’all to know that I am holed up in Lafayette, Louisiana (about two hours west of New Orleans). From all indications, Katrina has destroyed my home. There’s been some levee breaches and I know one of two things: 1) there’s three to four feet in my house, or 2) I no longer have a roof. Info is still sketchy. Keep me in your prayers and thoughts.

Some of you have asked for updates, and so with Scott’s permission, I’m sharing his latest message:

Limbo. Purgatory. Gerbil spinning the wheel. Slow motion. Disconnected.

Our zip code in New Orleans was among the hardest hit and will be one of the last to return to the city. The whole area may need to be bulldozed. Gretchen and I went back on the 6th and the damage was extraordinary. I snuck in about three weeks ago to salvage wedding photos and some family heirlooms and was glad I did. The time between made essentially everything unsalvageable minus Gretchen’s grandmother’s china. This photo shows damage in the house immediately after the flood . . . there’s ten times as much mold now.

375

I could go on about the damage, but it’s hard to put into words. Think of everything you do in a given day — the place you get coffee at, the school you drop your kids off, the grocery store you buy at, the friend’s house you visit, your job — all gone . . . all destroyed and all you are left with are memories and even those are now somehow tainted. Don’t mean to sound overly dramatic.

We go through a range of emotions daily. Resentment, anger, sadness, hopeful . . . jumbled together. One day you hate the city. The next you think of it as a great opportunity. Most of all we’re pretty exhausted. Everyone, including my parents (who we are living with), is having some sleep problems, although the kids have adapted well.

The kids [Brewster and Amelia] have been great in fact. We lucked out early and enrolled them in a wonderful Day School. It’s been saving grace. One of the times Brew and Sissy look forward to is reading before bedtime. Brew, albeit four, is a reader and we’ve moved on to chapter books. He’s hooked on the Magic Tree House series. Sissy, on the other hand, likes Go Dog Go and There’s a Wocket in My Pocket.

We struggle for a routine . . .

. . . I have thrown myself into finishing off our 3rd CD for the Movers. [Note: Scott’s band is Imagination Movers. They sing songs for kids that even parents can love, as several foldedspace readers can testify. Check them out.] It’s one of the few sanctuaries I have. We lost much of their inventory and equipment, but our supporters are helping us stick together. Our agent has helped to replace our inventory of cds and dvds and the fans are helping to replace equipment. Future support? Ask friends to pick up a copy of the new CD when it comes out. We titled it Eight Feet which is the amount of feet we have in the group and also the water line in our neighborhood where three of the four of us lived.

Now for the good news — we did find our cat! We put our cat in the care of our neighbor who is a fireman and had to stay in New Orleans. Unfortunately, our mini-van’s air conditioning went out the week before the hurricane. When we evacuated, we left in a small Buick my grandmother left for us. The amount we could take was cut considerably. Our cat is an outdoor cat and is damn smart. Eric, our neighbor, and his wife are huge animal lovers. They offered to care for Flannery. We took them up. Anyway, the day the flood waters came, Eric saw Flan swimming to him. He’s got a two story and brought her there. His cat was under the house (every house is raised — ours was four feet off the ground). He went through his own floorboard to get his cat. Long story short, it was about a month afterwards that we got word our cat was safe.

Flan had a big gash on her shoulder, but is doing great and has become a beacon of hope for his. She’s now symbolic. How many cats can say that?

The assistance [from college friends] is welcomed and needed. If I think about it too much, I’ll start getting weepy eyed. Let’s just say the acts of others have been such that I am a better person because of it. This whole ordeal has made me realize how important the act of giving is. Sad but true. And how even the boring days are blessed because you never know how bad things can get until they do.

Kris and I are glad that Scott and his family are safe. It’s strange to think that somebody you knew for only a short period of time many years ago can figure so prominently in your life, yet sometimes this is the case.

Note: This is the first in what I hope will be a series of occasional entries written by you, the readers of foldedspace. As mentioned last week, I’d love to post what you have to say from time-to-time. Tiffany informs me that she has something for me to post, too. Dave? Amy Jo? John B? Kristin? Anyone else? This space is here for you if you’d like it.

Personal Day

I saw an amazing thing on the drive to work today.

I was at a light that had just turned from red to green when, on the other side of the street, a young man on a bicycle rode into the crosswalk against traffic, against the light. The sky was still grey, and he was wearing dark clothes. His bike had no lights. This kid was violating a dozen rules of traffic and common sense. “Does he have a death wish?” I wondered, and just as I thought that, a police car turned on its lights, angled through the intersection, and rolled in pursuit of the young man.

Excellent.

As a bicyclist myself, I cannot abide when others use bikes in a reckless or irresponsible fashion. It gives us all a bad name. I’ve never seen a bicyclist get pulled over before now.

I’ve been feeling a little under the weather this week, so yesterday morning I stayed home in an attempt to thwart any incipient sickness. I slept late, cats by my side, C-PAP mask strapped to my face. When I did wake, I woke refreshed. I felt great, with no sign of sickness. “Ah well,” I thought. “I’ll just treat today as a personal day.”

I spent the morning cleaning. I am an accumulator and a piler. (I always have been.) Though it grieves my wife, I am pathologically incapable of keeping the house clean, and often have stacks of books and stacks of magazines and stacks of comics on the kitchen table, at the computer, on my writing desk. I spent time purging these piles, and then I moved on to other chores.

Later in the morning, I ran errands. I returned library books. I went to the post office (where I mailed a book to Jim and a box of comics to Joel). I stopped at the grocery store to pick up something for lunch. It was here that my day went off track, descending from productivity into something entirely different.

Rather than select a sandwich or a salad for lunch, I decided it might be nice to fix myself a steak. I bought a pound of beef tenderloin and a cheap bottle of red wine. Then I got sidetracked and spent ten minutes in the organic foods freezer section, examining the nutrition information on all of the “chick’n nuggets” and burgers and breakfast patties. (I’ve been on a vegetarian meat kick lately — I’ve decided that many of these meatless meats actually taste pretty good. Since they’re also healthier than most of the crap I eat, I’ve been dabbling. I’ve purchased something like ten types of veggie meat in the past week, and hope to try them all.) Next I was waylaid by the gourmet chocolate bars. I bought eight different bars of dark chocolate, all of them high in cacao content.

At home, I prepared one of my favorite recipes:

Caprial‘s Beef Tenderloin with Pepper and Port Sauce
(as recalled by J.D. Roth)

  • Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
  • Grind about two tablespoons of fresh black pepper onto a plate. Take about a pound of beef tenderloin (three six-ounce steaks or two eight-ounce steaks, etc.) coat both sides of each piece in the pepper. (You want a nice thick layer of pepper. Grind more if you need it.)
  • Heat one tablespoon of olive oil over high heat. When the oil is smoking, place the steaks in the pan. Sear each side for three minutes.
  • Place the pan in the oven for six minutes.
  • While the pan is in the oven, combine one-half cup port wine, two tablespoons soy sauce, and one tablespoon butter. This will become your sauce.
  • Return the pan from the oven to high heat on the stove. Add the sauce mixture and boil for three minutes, flipping the steaks midway through.
  • Serve.

This is a great recipe, but it is peppery. Don’t be tempted to go easy on the pepper. We used light pepper when preparing this for Kris’ aunt and uncle, and the results were decidedly mediocre. Coat generously with fresh-ground black pepper!

The meal was delicious. I ate the first steak and decided I could do with a second. When I finished the second, I decided it would be a shame to save the third (and final) steak for later. I ate it, too. I drank my red wine. When I was finished with my meal (which comprised only steak and wine), I treated myself to one of my new chocolate bars, a mon cherri bar from Oregon’s own Dagoba Organic Chocolate.

What a fantastic piece of chocolate: 72% dark chocolate with bits of dried cherry and a hint of vanilla.

As I ate my lunch, I listened to Motown music and followed a series of links from Metafilter. Somehow I found myself immersed in the strange world of pick-up artists and fast seduction. I sang along to the Jackson 5 while reading about “negs” and “HBs” and “the three second rule”. It was a completely surreal experience.

Tangent:

While waiting in line at the library last week, I picked up Hitsville USA: The Motown Singles Collection 1959-1971. This is remarkable boxed set collecting 104 of the top Motown songs from the sixties. Many of these have been played to death (I never need to hear “My Guy” or “My Girl” ever again, thank you very much), but others are difficult to find. I particularly like the quality of the Motown output from 1968-1971, which featured songs like:

“For Once in My Life” by Stevie Wonder
“I Heard it Through the Grapevine” by Marvin Gaye
“Up the Ladder to the Roof” by Diana Ross & the Supremes
“I Want You Back” by the Jackson 5
“Ball of Confusion” by the Temptations
“Signed, Sealed, Delivered” by Stevie Wonder
“War” by Edwin Starr
“I’ll Be There” by the Jackson 5
“The Tears of a Clown” by Smokey Robinson & the Miracles
“What’s Going On” by Marvin Gaye
“Never Can Say Goodbye” by the Jackson 5
“Mercy Mercy Me (the Ecology)” by Marvin Gaye

“I Want You Back” by the Jackson 5 may be the perfect pop song. I’ve always said that George Michael’s “Faith” held this title, but I’m willing to reconsider. “I Want You Back” is as good, and possibly better. Remember how great Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” was back in the early eighties? His stuff with the Jackson 5 is even better. I’m not sure why I’ve not heard much of the Jackson 5 before, but they’re great — they sing driving, energetic pop, fun to listen to, foot-tapping, engaging.

The other musicians in the late Motown period are good, too. (For the purposes of this tangent, I’m defining “the late Motown period” as starting just after “Love Child”. “For Once in My Life” by Stevie Wonder (1968) is the start of the good stuff.) The Temptations? Fantastic. The Four Tops? They made some wonderful music. How can anyone not love “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” by Stevie Wonder?

Apparently there’s a second Motown boxed set called Hitsville USA: The Motown Singles Collection 1972-1992. I’ll be sure to borrow that from the library, too, though its track list doesn’t look nearly as appealing as the first set.

In the afternoon, I played a five-year old computer game. Nick and I have become obsessed with Diablo II again, which cracks us up. Where did this come from? (Well, I know in part that this is because it doesn’t require a monthly subscription fee.) Of course, we still play Civilization II all the time, and that game is nine years old.

In the evening, I whiled away the hours watching hockey, Lost, and the Martha Stewart iteration of The Apprentice.

It was a very good day.

Comments

On 06 October 2005 (09:43 AM),
J.D. said:

I’ve long argued that if you like two individual food components, you ought to like them combined. For example, if you like ketchup and you like mashed potatoes, you ought to find the combination delightful, too.

Well.

I’ve just encountered a combination that puts the lie to my reasoning.

I love ice cream sandwiches, especially those from Schwan’s. (Let’s not discuss why I’m eating an ice cream sandwich on a cool October morning.) I love garlic even more. (One of my standing rules for recipes is to quintuple the garlic.) Something (I think my veggie breakfast sausages) in the Custom Box freezer is exuding a garlicky odor.

Apparently — and here’s where it gets kind of gross — the garlic essense is powerful enough to have penetrated the paper wrappers of the ice cream sandwiches. They’re no longer vanilla ice cream sandwiches with delicious chocolate cookies. No, now they’re garlic-vanilla ice cream sandwiches.

Not something I recommend.

On 06 October 2005 (12:00 PM),
Rich R said:

I once dipped a banana in queso…I wouldn’t recommend THAT either. (And yes, there was drinking involved.)

On 06 October 2005 (12:04 PM),
Joel said:

I really can’t think of a better way to spend your free time than mailing me your personal possessions. I think more people should follow your example.

On 06 October 2005 (12:05 PM),
Joel said:

[Looks pointedly at Jeremy’s booze collection.]

On 06 October 2005 (01:25 PM),
Johnny Doe said:

[Jeremy looks pointedly at his shotgun collection.]

On 06 October 2005 (02:35 PM),
Jethro said:

[Joel pointedly offers Jeremy a swig of Scotch from his flask and all is well.]

On 06 October 2005 (08:36 PM),
Denise said:

I got a ticket in college for biking down the wrong side of the street. I even tried to use the “My dad’s a motorcycle policeman for Portland…” and all I got was a “Then you should know better.”

I even had to go to traffic school to keep it off my record.

On 07 October 2005 (08:59 AM),
jenefer said:

I guess Kris Gates is not always right! I heard her telling you to go light on the pepper on the steaks, but since we had no experience on how you cooked, we didn’t object. Bob uses salt much more sparingly in his diet now and has replaced it with pepper. He really goes heavy on the pepper depending on the food he is seasoning. I prefer to do less seasoning altogether and just taste the food. However, seasoning while cooking the food is different from seasoning after cooking. Next time, maybe we should try the dish as you normally prepare it instead of eating a “watered down” version. It was still pretty good. Using a good quality of food, whether meat or veggies, etc. does make a difference. I feel patronized. What I want to know is how you could eat a POUND of meat in one meal? Did you just have meat and wine? My stomach hurts just thinking about it.

Kris’s aunt

On 07 October 2005 (09:03 AM),
J.D. said:

It wasn’t a pound of meat; it was seventeen ounces. And I didn’t just have steak and wine. I had chocolate, too.

I didn’t feel well in the evening.